Room full of boxes

As I sit here in a room where the furniture and all signs of occupancy have been removed, I wonder why I am not jumping around dancing on this perfectly positioned dance floor. The image of this room means the 52nd Wednesday will be here soon. I will again get precious kisses on my forehead. I will again fall asleep with the warmth of my husbands breath. I will again have his arms around me and be completely and totally safe. I will again be the "typical married woman." But yet, the rollercoaster continues. Tonight I look around and emotions of every kind fill me. I am proud, scared, excited, sad, overjoyed, overwhelmed in good and not-so-good ways.

I am proud of my husband. I am proud that we survived these weeks and are more in love and stronger than before. I am proud I survived in a fairly normal manner!

I am scared because I don't really know what to expect. I am scared because I don't know how to do it all.

I am excited because we get to live our lives together, not seperate. I am sad because I have to say goodbye, or shall I say "see you later."

I am overjoyed because I get to say hello...WE get to continue our family on the same soil.

I am overwhelmed because I don't know what to expect, where to go, or even what to say. But most of all I am overwhelmed with knowing that no matter where I land, I am surrounded by love.

I don't know what tomorrow will bring, but at least I know that no matter what emotion catches me, I will survive...and my survival is not because I can "do this alone." I've never done any of this alone. And I thank each of you for that. thank you.

tata for now, I'm off to go dance as that is the mood that strikes me now. and until next time...dance a bit for me when your kids are driving you nuts, your husband isn't home for supper, or life just seems to be a cruel joke of murphy's law. Know that you are loved...by some you have never even met.

annie