Here I am, in the apartment trying to collect my life, thoughts and sleep before going back to work tomorrow. Then I walk into my bedroom to put away my husbands clean clothes and I catch a new smell. A smell that up until April 23rd had not been in this apartment. The smell of my husband's cologne lurks in between these walls. Immediately I am saddened that I don't get to wake up next to him, that I don't get to ask for Pizza Ranch Taco Pizza at 9 AM (when he was simply asking me if I needed anything...from within the apartment, perhaps a water?), that I don't get to live in fantasy land and run to Denver on a whim, that I don't get to feel his arms wrapped around me and feel that complete comfort of being safe. I miss him. I miss us together in the same room, the same state, the same country. I miss our face to face talks. I miss hearing the shower running when putting my make-up on. I miss being his co-pilot. I miss hearing his laugh when watching a youtube video. I miss falling asleep on his lap. I miss my Mikey.
Tonight, the silence and smells of my apartment haunt me. It jolts me back to October 2008. But, unlike last fall this time the hurt is different. I no longer fear the unknown, the unknown is now known. I no longer dread 52 Wednesdays, we only have 23 left. I no longer wonder how my husband really is, I know he is okay.
But, no matter these feelings of sadness, the last 14 days were completely worth it. I would never change a minute of our time. We shared laughs, exchanged stories, held on tight to one another. We were us, together again for 14 full days. I thank my husband for being such an amazing man. I am proud of his work and will always stand beside him. He is my blessing. I love him for him, even the part of being in the Army and having long business trips.
We shared many funny things on our vacation and soon I will post pictures and share some of our crazy times...like the time we took the "public transportation bus" in denver to see the Coor's Brewery, or the time we scalped tickets to see a playoff game of the Nuggets, or the time...well, I think I'll leave some of those stories to those we shared them with!
Check back soon, I will post the funnies of our vaca together!
Thank you to all for your continued support and all the love while Mikey was home. We are both fortunate to have loving family and friends that take care of us, especially me while my hubbers is away.
tata for now,
annie
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Sunday, May 10, 2009
Thursday, April 23, 2009
He's almost home....for 14 FULL days!
Mikey has been en route to the states for a few days now. And now in about 2 hours I will get to have his arms around me. As you can imagine, I'm ecstatic. Which means I'm running on little to no sleep, but not feeling the pain. I finally fell asleep at 3 am last night, and was wide awake by 5:3o am. I don't think I've jumped out of bed so quickly in at least nearly 11 months. I woke up ready to go to work and get things done so I could escape whenever my hubby called.
Today I feel much like I did on our wedding day. I am excited, anxious and a bit nervous...but a good nervous. I have planned my outfit for the past week and prepared all that I can around the house. I am ready to stand at the airport and watch carefully for my husband. Just writing this I can picture me on my tiptoes scanning the crowd exiting the plane, looking as far down the line as I can. Just searching for his eyes to catch mine. Just waiting to see his expression change from tired to excited. I can't wait to drop everything and run to him, jump into his arms and stay there, forgetting that anyone is around us. Six months, one week and one day we've been waiting for this.
Today we get this moment. I have to admit, part of me is nervous for the unknown. Will I remember how to kiss him? Will I remember how to share the bed? Will I remember that he needs to catch up from the 8 hour time difference? Will I remember how to stop time, enjoy the little moments and just relish in the fact that we are by each others sides? I know I'll remember it all (except maybe sharing the bed...I never was good at that!). I know we'll enjoy this 'honeymoon' we've been blessed with.
We hope to see as many people as we can. Thank you for all your support and each of you can smile a little bigger, dance a little wilder, scream of excitement and shed a couple tears of joy because Mister Mikey is going to be home!!!
tata for now - hope to see you soon!
annie
Today I feel much like I did on our wedding day. I am excited, anxious and a bit nervous...but a good nervous. I have planned my outfit for the past week and prepared all that I can around the house. I am ready to stand at the airport and watch carefully for my husband. Just writing this I can picture me on my tiptoes scanning the crowd exiting the plane, looking as far down the line as I can. Just searching for his eyes to catch mine. Just waiting to see his expression change from tired to excited. I can't wait to drop everything and run to him, jump into his arms and stay there, forgetting that anyone is around us. Six months, one week and one day we've been waiting for this.
Today we get this moment. I have to admit, part of me is nervous for the unknown. Will I remember how to kiss him? Will I remember how to share the bed? Will I remember that he needs to catch up from the 8 hour time difference? Will I remember how to stop time, enjoy the little moments and just relish in the fact that we are by each others sides? I know I'll remember it all (except maybe sharing the bed...I never was good at that!). I know we'll enjoy this 'honeymoon' we've been blessed with.
We hope to see as many people as we can. Thank you for all your support and each of you can smile a little bigger, dance a little wilder, scream of excitement and shed a couple tears of joy because Mister Mikey is going to be home!!!
tata for now - hope to see you soon!
annie
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
26 Wednesdays done!!!!
Six months ago today I was the wife watching my husband gather the troops and get onto a bus, knowing I was not going to see him for a year. I barely kept standing on my own, allowing tears to fall down my face, past my chin and drenching my shirt. I was the one that wouldn't leave until the last bus left. I was the one that couldn't imagine walking to my car, driving away from my husband and entering our home without him. I was the one clinging to every last word he spoke, every last touch we shared, every last look into each others eyes. I was the one that leaned on all my family and friends by never saying much, just sniffling from heartache. I was the one that had no idea how I was going to make it through one day, one week, one month or one year without my husband to wake up to every morning. I was the one that couldn't give you the guarantee that I'd be okay. I was torn, I was numb, I was lost.
Now today, six months later I am the wife that is thankful to know we are half way done with this year. I am the one that is standing on both feet with my husband still by my side. I am the one that still sheds tears, but never allows them to drench my shirt. I am the one that has made a new home for us, in a land dear to both our hearts. I am the one that changes the insurance, rents our Georgia home, and files our taxes, all with the assistance of my husband. I am the one that documents every moment of my days in weekly letters to my husband. Today I am the one that awakes every day, turns on the computer and checks for a sweet IM from my husband. Today I am the one that still leans on my family and friends, but with more words than sniffling. I am the one that still has no idea how to manage day-to-day without my husband in the same room, but I now completely understand that I am NOT doing this alone. I have my husband. He is with me every step of the way. I am now the one that can tell you, we survived six months. And we WILL survive the last six months.
I know that this hasn't been an easy portion of our lives together, but what I do know is that we have continued to strengthen our love and marriage. I'll be the first to admit that the last six months have definitely had their bad moments. I have learned to stop watching national news, learned to lean on those around me (especially my army wives), and always remembered to keep perspective - I still DO have my husband. Most of all I am reminded that each and every one of us gets our strength through our Lord. I have been blessed by him for giving me such a loving husband and he knew that we would get through this stronger.
So, now onto the next six months. The bonus, in these next 6 months I will get to be held by my husband for 14 days. I haven't forgotten his touch, but the strength of his touch will move me more than I can remember. I can't wait Mikey. Soon we will get to be us. Us doing everything and nothing at the same time. Cannot wait to "hold you" again!
Love for all, especially bunches to mister Mikey.
Annie
Now today, six months later I am the wife that is thankful to know we are half way done with this year. I am the one that is standing on both feet with my husband still by my side. I am the one that still sheds tears, but never allows them to drench my shirt. I am the one that has made a new home for us, in a land dear to both our hearts. I am the one that changes the insurance, rents our Georgia home, and files our taxes, all with the assistance of my husband. I am the one that documents every moment of my days in weekly letters to my husband. Today I am the one that awakes every day, turns on the computer and checks for a sweet IM from my husband. Today I am the one that still leans on my family and friends, but with more words than sniffling. I am the one that still has no idea how to manage day-to-day without my husband in the same room, but I now completely understand that I am NOT doing this alone. I have my husband. He is with me every step of the way. I am now the one that can tell you, we survived six months. And we WILL survive the last six months.I know that this hasn't been an easy portion of our lives together, but what I do know is that we have continued to strengthen our love and marriage. I'll be the first to admit that the last six months have definitely had their bad moments. I have learned to stop watching national news, learned to lean on those around me (especially my army wives), and always remembered to keep perspective - I still DO have my husband. Most of all I am reminded that each and every one of us gets our strength through our Lord. I have been blessed by him for giving me such a loving husband and he knew that we would get through this stronger.
So, now onto the next six months. The bonus, in these next 6 months I will get to be held by my husband for 14 days. I haven't forgotten his touch, but the strength of his touch will move me more than I can remember. I can't wait Mikey. Soon we will get to be us. Us doing everything and nothing at the same time. Cannot wait to "hold you" again!
Love for all, especially bunches to mister Mikey.
Annie
Saturday, March 28, 2009
a fight against the Red River
Today is a day of rest for many in the Fargo-Moorhead region, but we all are resting carefully knowing that our battle against the Mighty Red is no where near over. We watch as they tell us the level is at 40.5 and will rise again on Sunday. We know that this normally 14 foot river isn't done with us yet.
This week we've witnessed this community show their hearts filled with selflessness. We all pull together, run shifts 24 hours a day, work as long as we possibly can with fuel from others with their donations of food, water and extra shelter. The days have brought strangers together, singing in a line while tossing sandbags down in blizzard conditions and snow up to our ankles. At one point I was between prisoners and some Amish men, an interesting mix. Nevertheless, we all joined to battle. We walked into backyards and stood in awe of what these homeowners were facing and not a single one of us wanted to leave them to fight it on their own. We all wanted to stay until the city would force us out...kicking and screaming.
With all of this the emotions in this city, in each resident have been amazing. You hear it, the attitudes are all positive. But trust in me, until you witness it, stand beside those with it, you will never be moved to tears by it. Tears of joy, amazement, appreciation. But, we all know those aren't the only tears we have here this week. We have tears because we are truly scared. You hear the first "mandatory evacuation" over the radio and it breaks you. It breaks you knowing you may not beat this river, it breaks you to think those strangers that are now your family are losing this battle. They are our family, we all worked tirelessly to make sure they could stay in their home...not just their house, but stay comforted in their home. Yet, when one individual has a slight crack in their confidence, there is another person beside them, holding onto their confidence only to give it back to them through a hug or a simple smile. It isn't easy, nor is it over, but we will carry one another through this. We will be strong and weak, but never at the same time.
Thank you for all the prayers, extra help and concern for our community. We hold a special place here for all of it. And this week, I personally, as an army wife, got a slight glimpse of what saving something feels like. I am here fighting to save our city, while my husband fights to save our country. Never could this be on the same scale, but I feel blessed to have a piece of what he sees every day.
I will be sure to post some photos of the Red and Drain 27. I am not currently in my place, as Drain 27 is right next to me. But, when I get back to Internet again I will be sure to send more updates.
Just know that this week has been a rollercoaster, but I wouldn't imagine going through this rollercoaster in any other community. I love this city, I love the Midwest.
tata for now,
Annie
This week we've witnessed this community show their hearts filled with selflessness. We all pull together, run shifts 24 hours a day, work as long as we possibly can with fuel from others with their donations of food, water and extra shelter. The days have brought strangers together, singing in a line while tossing sandbags down in blizzard conditions and snow up to our ankles. At one point I was between prisoners and some Amish men, an interesting mix. Nevertheless, we all joined to battle. We walked into backyards and stood in awe of what these homeowners were facing and not a single one of us wanted to leave them to fight it on their own. We all wanted to stay until the city would force us out...kicking and screaming.
With all of this the emotions in this city, in each resident have been amazing. You hear it, the attitudes are all positive. But trust in me, until you witness it, stand beside those with it, you will never be moved to tears by it. Tears of joy, amazement, appreciation. But, we all know those aren't the only tears we have here this week. We have tears because we are truly scared. You hear the first "mandatory evacuation" over the radio and it breaks you. It breaks you knowing you may not beat this river, it breaks you to think those strangers that are now your family are losing this battle. They are our family, we all worked tirelessly to make sure they could stay in their home...not just their house, but stay comforted in their home. Yet, when one individual has a slight crack in their confidence, there is another person beside them, holding onto their confidence only to give it back to them through a hug or a simple smile. It isn't easy, nor is it over, but we will carry one another through this. We will be strong and weak, but never at the same time.
Thank you for all the prayers, extra help and concern for our community. We hold a special place here for all of it. And this week, I personally, as an army wife, got a slight glimpse of what saving something feels like. I am here fighting to save our city, while my husband fights to save our country. Never could this be on the same scale, but I feel blessed to have a piece of what he sees every day.
I will be sure to post some photos of the Red and Drain 27. I am not currently in my place, as Drain 27 is right next to me. But, when I get back to Internet again I will be sure to send more updates.
Just know that this week has been a rollercoaster, but I wouldn't imagine going through this rollercoaster in any other community. I love this city, I love the Midwest.
tata for now,
Annie
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Irony
My husband said it best via a text message while I was sandbagging:
"Isn't it odd that you are in a place surrounded by water, with trucks of sand. And I'm in a place surrounded by sand, with trucks of water."
Yes, that my friends is true irony. (at least I think!) And yes, this is why I married him...because he's a thinker!
Love that mister of mine.
Tata for now, I'll write more about the flood battle later, if my arms hold up their strength!
annie
"Isn't it odd that you are in a place surrounded by water, with trucks of sand. And I'm in a place surrounded by sand, with trucks of water."
Yes, that my friends is true irony. (at least I think!) And yes, this is why I married him...because he's a thinker!
Love that mister of mine.
Tata for now, I'll write more about the flood battle later, if my arms hold up their strength!
annie
Sunday, February 22, 2009
weekends...
I woke up early on Saturday morning and as I glanced to the other side of the bed, I realized what I miss most on the weekends. I miss looking over at my husband as he sleeps a little longer than me, I miss just watching him, playing with this hair, kissing his face. I miss "accidentally" waking him up so we could go downstairs in our pajamas, make some coffee and chat about anything. I miss hanging out like that together until the afternoon when we decide to finally get ready for the outside world.
I miss his gentle hand on my back as we stroll along in Savannah.
I miss his arm around me.
I miss him holding me and forgetting anyone is around us.But I know these weekends will return. I know that someday my man with hold me, kiss me and whisper sweet somethings into my ear. And until then, I'll stay strong. I'll surround myself with loving friends and family. I will continue to be his wife, taking care of our house here.
I will wait patiently for our weekends together to return. I will always remember our weekend moments, and I will forever appreciate these "little" things always and forever.
annie
Monday, February 2, 2009
Fire! A real live fire made me reflect on my "what would you bring" list
You know the age old question, what would you bring if you had to leave because of a fire? Everyone knows their answers, usually kids, pets and personal items follow. Well, I've known my answer and my items are as such:
1. My husband or any other human with me
2. My phone, computer and camera
3. My purse
4. My photos (negatives and DVDs)
5. Financial files & important documents
6. My jewelry
7. My homemade quilt and other favorite blankets (green girl & westie)
8. An outfit (never know when you'll get back in)
9. Favorite pair of shoes
Sounds like a long list, and as I type it I realize it is a long list. But, last night at 3:30 AM I was truly tested on what I would haul out if someone yelled FIRE.
I was awoke by my apartment door buzzer, which immediately made me think "now I know why I hate living in apartments. Because the drunks come home and think it is hilarious to buzz everyone's apartments." As the thought passes through my head I hear a frantic, loud three knocks on my door. I was WIDE awake now and listening to several knocks all the way down the hall. Again, I thought it is only a group of drunk SuperBowl Steeler fans that just want to play a practical joke. Suddenly my ears perked up as I heard "FIRE, Evacuate NOW!" I hopped out of bed, ran to the door and peaked out. It wasn't a group of drunk boys, it was a nice blonde hair neighbor gal making sure all of us were safe. So, I closed the door to go back and "get my stuff."
In a quick moment I realized my darn list was TOO long. So, I put some boots on, grabbed my glasses, packed up my computer, put on my wedding ring, bundled up in a winter coat, flung my purse over my shoulder and I was OUT. I started towards the North entrance and as soon as I got to the stairwell I could smell the smoke. Thrust into full "fire drill mode" I cautiously, calmly went down the stairs (which I never thought I'D be the calm one), briefly touched the door handle. It wasn't hot so I proceeded. I went right out the door, but not without glancing down the hall of first floor. It was full of smoke.
Once we were outside it was only a matter of moments until the fire crew arrived. Thirty minutes later we were sent back into our apartments, with hallways filled with smoke residue and smell. I lied wide awake thinking, did I take all I said I would. NOPE. Not even close. Here is what I actually took:
1. Myself
2. My phone and computer
3. My wedding ring
4. My bedside photo of Mike
5. Jacket, purse and winter boots
I neglected several things on my list. I did think of them as I sat out in the cold, but nonetheless I realized that none of that matters. I got what was most important and ALL of us were safe. It wasn't a big fire, but thankfully to the gal who yelled FIRE we all were safe. Since the fire alarms weren't working, it was her caring for each of us that made me really smile.
And yes, I did call to get renter's insurance as it dawned on my that I didn't have it and I was totally borrowing my entire apartment. Yikes. No worries, I will have it by end of day.
Love you all and tata for now - remember, try to keep your "what you'd bring small, because it really doesn't need to be more."
Annie
1. My husband or any other human with me
2. My phone, computer and camera
3. My purse
4. My photos (negatives and DVDs)
5. Financial files & important documents
6. My jewelry
7. My homemade quilt and other favorite blankets (green girl & westie)
8. An outfit (never know when you'll get back in)
9. Favorite pair of shoes
Sounds like a long list, and as I type it I realize it is a long list. But, last night at 3:30 AM I was truly tested on what I would haul out if someone yelled FIRE.
I was awoke by my apartment door buzzer, which immediately made me think "now I know why I hate living in apartments. Because the drunks come home and think it is hilarious to buzz everyone's apartments." As the thought passes through my head I hear a frantic, loud three knocks on my door. I was WIDE awake now and listening to several knocks all the way down the hall. Again, I thought it is only a group of drunk SuperBowl Steeler fans that just want to play a practical joke. Suddenly my ears perked up as I heard "FIRE, Evacuate NOW!" I hopped out of bed, ran to the door and peaked out. It wasn't a group of drunk boys, it was a nice blonde hair neighbor gal making sure all of us were safe. So, I closed the door to go back and "get my stuff."
In a quick moment I realized my darn list was TOO long. So, I put some boots on, grabbed my glasses, packed up my computer, put on my wedding ring, bundled up in a winter coat, flung my purse over my shoulder and I was OUT. I started towards the North entrance and as soon as I got to the stairwell I could smell the smoke. Thrust into full "fire drill mode" I cautiously, calmly went down the stairs (which I never thought I'D be the calm one), briefly touched the door handle. It wasn't hot so I proceeded. I went right out the door, but not without glancing down the hall of first floor. It was full of smoke.
Once we were outside it was only a matter of moments until the fire crew arrived. Thirty minutes later we were sent back into our apartments, with hallways filled with smoke residue and smell. I lied wide awake thinking, did I take all I said I would. NOPE. Not even close. Here is what I actually took:
1. Myself
2. My phone and computer
3. My wedding ring
4. My bedside photo of Mike
5. Jacket, purse and winter boots
I neglected several things on my list. I did think of them as I sat out in the cold, but nonetheless I realized that none of that matters. I got what was most important and ALL of us were safe. It wasn't a big fire, but thankfully to the gal who yelled FIRE we all were safe. Since the fire alarms weren't working, it was her caring for each of us that made me really smile.
And yes, I did call to get renter's insurance as it dawned on my that I didn't have it and I was totally borrowing my entire apartment. Yikes. No worries, I will have it by end of day.
Love you all and tata for now - remember, try to keep your "what you'd bring small, because it really doesn't need to be more."
Annie
Monday, January 12, 2009
Happy Birthday Mikey!
Today is the day that Mikey turns another year older. He is 29 today and I realized that this year he gets to celebrate his birthday for 32 hours. Wow! He gets his normal 24 hours during the central time zone, plus the 8 hours that he is ahead of us in whatever time zone that is! I know, technically he still only gets 24 hours, but I'm going with my thoughts instead of reality! (normal me, I know)
So, Happy 29th Birthday mister Mikey! I love you, miss you and am giving you several virtual hugs and kisses. I hope you have enjoyed your 32 hours of turning 29! And remember, next year for your 30th we'll be in the same country! I can't wait!!! Another milestone down...
Love you honey...
tata for now,
annie
Friday, January 2, 2009
A Familiar Face in an Unfamiliar Place
Check it out...it's Mikey! He finally took the "typical Iraq photo" and sent it to me to share.
He is spending more time flying then he initally thought he would be. His days are busy with either flying or his other daily routine (not sure what that includes!). He has a 12 hour shift that usually runs longer. He is enjoying all his packages and feels very spoiled. I can tell getting mail makes him smile, I can hear it in his voice when I talk to him. Thank you to everyone for supporting us in the many ways each of you do. I will continue to update you as time progresses. For now, enjoy seeing his smiling face again! And Happy New Year!
Mikey's coming home this year!!!
Isn't he adorable? I know, adorable is the wrong word when looking at a photo full of weaponry but I just had to say it!
tata for now,
Annie
Mikey's coming home this year!!!
Isn't he adorable? I know, adorable is the wrong word when looking at a photo full of weaponry but I just had to say it!
tata for now,
Annie
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
this time last year
This time last year I was:
Not married, nor engaged
Celebrating the Christmas season with my boyfriend and family
Constantly hinting and hoping to open a small box with a shiny diamond for my left hand
Participating in the annual tradition of shopping on Christmas eve with my boyfriend
Oblivious to the idea of what a Christmas without my boyfriend would be like
Sharing every memory with my Mikey
This time this year I am:
Giving thanks for all this last year brought
Smiling because I am a wife
Excited to know I am an “in-law”
Praying my husband finds joy in the season no matter how different it is
Reminded about perspective in life
Enjoying the company of many family and friends
I am a blessed wife, daughter, sister and friend. I thank each of you for standing beside, behind or in front of me. Every hand outstretched to me is the best gift to open. We, as a couple, thank every one of you for your continued thoughts, prayers and gifts. Thank you and be sure to snuggle a little closer with your loved ones and kids.
tata for now and Merry Christmas to all!
Annie
Not married, nor engaged
Celebrating the Christmas season with my boyfriend and family
Constantly hinting and hoping to open a small box with a shiny diamond for my left hand
Participating in the annual tradition of shopping on Christmas eve with my boyfriend
Oblivious to the idea of what a Christmas without my boyfriend would be like
Sharing every memory with my Mikey
This time this year I am:
Giving thanks for all this last year brought
Smiling because I am a wife
Excited to know I am an “in-law”
Praying my husband finds joy in the season no matter how different it is
Reminded about perspective in life
Enjoying the company of many family and friends
I am a blessed wife, daughter, sister and friend. I thank each of you for standing beside, behind or in front of me. Every hand outstretched to me is the best gift to open. We, as a couple, thank every one of you for your continued thoughts, prayers and gifts. Thank you and be sure to snuggle a little closer with your loved ones and kids.
tata for now and Merry Christmas to all!
Annie
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Reality check...from a 3 year old...ouch
I promised a funny story...so Tyndale (my nearly 3 year old niece) provided me with this:
It was a relaxing Saturday morning at my sister's house. It was midway through the morning so I decided to finally get ready.
After my shower I was walking down the stairs with wet curly hair, no makeup and my clothes for the day. Tyndie turned her head, gave me a "hmmm" look and said, "Auntie Annie?" I quickly assured her it was me, just with curly hair. As I am hitting the last step she realizes I have a make-up bag in my hand and asks if she can watch me put it on. "Of course!"
...she's totally excited and grinning from ear to ear at this point...
She knelt on the toilet seat and leaned in towards me putting her hands on the counter. Asking "what's that?" every time I pulled something new out of my bag. Then, when I was done I thought who better to ask than Tyndie for a final product review.
I turn, look at her and ask 'how do I look?" To which she quickly responds.........
"Not so good Auntie Annie."
I am pretty sure my jaw dropped. Then, with a half grin on my face (still trying not to laugh) I said, well is there anything I can do to fix it. Tyndie then gets down from the toilet, looks up at me as she is at the door of the bathroom and right before exiting shrugs her shoulders, puts her hands up in the air and says "ummm...no."
Yep, there she was, shrugging me off as a lost cause. Guess I'll be sure to ask her to apply my makeup next time!
thanks Tyndie for keeping my self-esteem in check!
tata for now...
Annie
It was a relaxing Saturday morning at my sister's house. It was midway through the morning so I decided to finally get ready.
After my shower I was walking down the stairs with wet curly hair, no makeup and my clothes for the day. Tyndie turned her head, gave me a "hmmm" look and said, "Auntie Annie?" I quickly assured her it was me, just with curly hair. As I am hitting the last step she realizes I have a make-up bag in my hand and asks if she can watch me put it on. "Of course!"
...she's totally excited and grinning from ear to ear at this point...
She knelt on the toilet seat and leaned in towards me putting her hands on the counter. Asking "what's that?" every time I pulled something new out of my bag. Then, when I was done I thought who better to ask than Tyndie for a final product review.
I turn, look at her and ask 'how do I look?" To which she quickly responds.........
"Not so good Auntie Annie."
I am pretty sure my jaw dropped. Then, with a half grin on my face (still trying not to laugh) I said, well is there anything I can do to fix it. Tyndie then gets down from the toilet, looks up at me as she is at the door of the bathroom and right before exiting shrugs her shoulders, puts her hands up in the air and says "ummm...no."
Yep, there she was, shrugging me off as a lost cause. Guess I'll be sure to ask her to apply my makeup next time!
thanks Tyndie for keeping my self-esteem in check!
tata for now...
Annie
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
memorable day for daddy's little girl, and not because of the election. We miss you dad
Today marks a memorable day for America, but for our family it is a memorable day for another reason. Five years ago it was an election day, not presidential of course, but it was a day all five of us kids expected our biggest task for the day would be deciding what Senator to vote for. Instead, our phones started ringing one by one with the news that was impossible to comprehend.
I was standing in my apartment in Amber Valley since I had the day off work I was just getting done getting ready after a grueling workout. It was then that my phone rang. I saw that my brother was calling. I answered with a gut feeling that I made me wonder if I wanted to answer. He asked me if I was sitting down...uh-oh, never a good thing to hear. The rush of thoughts really went to who is in the hospital, who should I be sending flowers to. Never, NEVER ever did I think I'd hear him say our dad died. Just then the phone reception ended the call. I didn't understand - our dad, no way. How? He was healthy, young and vibrant. It had to be an accident, which I was still convinced meant that I could go to the hospital and see him, hug him and remind him how much I loved him. I was prepared to go home from the hospital with him and do anything to heal him. Just then Nathan called back, it was dad, it was OUR dad. It was not an accident, we had no idea how or why it happened. All we knew is that he had passed on by the time our cleaning lady found him on his favorite couch.
Immediately the calling tree began. I called sister Dawn - she called Tina, Nathan then called Shannon. After that, still in shock with tears flowing I called Courtney and my boyfriend. I had to get home to Cooperstown. I had to pack a bag - with clothes for me to attend my own dad's funeral. I was the daddy's girl that suddenly had no idea how to survive without my daddy.
I was crushed...numb...never knowing what to think, do or say. I was silent. My boyfriend and Courtney got me home. Lisa was on her way. And my entire family was meeting at our family home in Cooperstown. We started the process I never imagined to deal with as an unmarried 23 year old.
As each sibling came home we cried harder. We fell to the ground faster. We all wanted to hold one another up, but none of us knew who was going to have the strength. Yet one of us did at the right time. We had a TON of support from friends and family, we shared our last memories with dad, our favorite sayings all while asking why.
We found out that he died from heart disease in the middle of the night. We made it through the funeral (on opening dear hunting weekend) and we began the process of making it day by day. Now here we are, five years later, glued to election coverage. And all remembering our dad and the impact he had on us. Each a different memory.
We love you daddy - we wish we could have had you here to celebrate your 60th birthday.
from your little girl...annie
I was standing in my apartment in Amber Valley since I had the day off work I was just getting done getting ready after a grueling workout. It was then that my phone rang. I saw that my brother was calling. I answered with a gut feeling that I made me wonder if I wanted to answer. He asked me if I was sitting down...uh-oh, never a good thing to hear. The rush of thoughts really went to who is in the hospital, who should I be sending flowers to. Never, NEVER ever did I think I'd hear him say our dad died. Just then the phone reception ended the call. I didn't understand - our dad, no way. How? He was healthy, young and vibrant. It had to be an accident, which I was still convinced meant that I could go to the hospital and see him, hug him and remind him how much I loved him. I was prepared to go home from the hospital with him and do anything to heal him. Just then Nathan called back, it was dad, it was OUR dad. It was not an accident, we had no idea how or why it happened. All we knew is that he had passed on by the time our cleaning lady found him on his favorite couch.
Immediately the calling tree began. I called sister Dawn - she called Tina, Nathan then called Shannon. After that, still in shock with tears flowing I called Courtney and my boyfriend. I had to get home to Cooperstown. I had to pack a bag - with clothes for me to attend my own dad's funeral. I was the daddy's girl that suddenly had no idea how to survive without my daddy.
I was crushed...numb...never knowing what to think, do or say. I was silent. My boyfriend and Courtney got me home. Lisa was on her way. And my entire family was meeting at our family home in Cooperstown. We started the process I never imagined to deal with as an unmarried 23 year old.
As each sibling came home we cried harder. We fell to the ground faster. We all wanted to hold one another up, but none of us knew who was going to have the strength. Yet one of us did at the right time. We had a TON of support from friends and family, we shared our last memories with dad, our favorite sayings all while asking why.
We found out that he died from heart disease in the middle of the night. We made it through the funeral (on opening dear hunting weekend) and we began the process of making it day by day. Now here we are, five years later, glued to election coverage. And all remembering our dad and the impact he had on us. Each a different memory.
We love you daddy - we wish we could have had you here to celebrate your 60th birthday.
from your little girl...annie
Friday, October 24, 2008
I miss my honey...
There really isn't a day that goes by where I don't miss my Mikey. But now that I face the reality that being without him every morning when I awake or every supper I eat or even every night when I close my eyes to sleep is tough. Every step I take to making my temporary home in ND reminds me that this is our families reality. My office is looking more like I inhabit it daily and soon I may have an apartment. And I know that Mikey has those same struggles, but he isn't blessed with the "normal" lifestyle I can live in. He doesn't get hugs from those who love and care for him, nor is he able to get any packages from anyone yet. And this, this difference in our lives and knowing that I'm able to live the American lifestyle is what makes this entire situation the toughest. I know he has his own struggles, but this is mine. I want to be the wife that takes care of him and now I really don't know how. So please, keep Mikey in your prayers and thoughts and give him strength to find his way, his comfort for the next 51 Wednesdays.With that said, I do cherish the quick phone calls where I get to hear his voice and know his daily routine and I relish in his sweet voice messages from before he left and I treasure the email I got because with each of these I know he is doing this because he loves and misses me as well. He doesn't get much time right now to communicate, which makes each piece more precious. I know he wishes he could call or email everyone right now, but his days are long. Please bear with him as he finds his way in how to manage day-to-day life and communication with all of us back home. I don't mean to speak for him (as I know his words would be more eloquent), but I just want to give everyone some insight.
Thank you ALL for your love, support, thoughts and prayers...we are down to 51 Wednesdays and this number will only get smaller.
...love you Mikey!
annie
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
52 Wednesday's
My dear, loving husband said it best, "This isn't 365 days, it's 52 Wednesday's." So, tonight begins our 52 week countdown.
Nobody can prepare you for a long good-bye. We found ourselves eating and watching the clock as we counted down the minutes until we had to go on post for the good-bye. Sitting, waiting and wishing we could rewind the clock. Before we knew it the clock struck 7 pm and we were standing there watching Mikey gather the troops to assure everyone was there. Looking around you see children playing, mothers crying and wives and husbands keeping a constant eye on their soldier. We were blessed with another hour and a half, so we sat and visited about anything but what faced us. And, at every pause in the conversation that reminder went off in my mind...he's leaving for a year, go hug him as long as you can. Tears filled my eyes, then laughter filled the air. We kept the mood as light hearted as possible. But we knew as the sky continued to darken the clock had to be coming towards the end. Then the words came from my husbands lips - "only 15 more minutes." Ugh. My heart fell into my stomach and I suddenly wanted to fall to the ground and throw a tantrum like a toddler. I took another look around as Mikey hugged his parents and watched as the kids became fussy, the mothers reached for their son or daughter and the wives/husbands starred at their loved one crying - no longer caring who was watching them. I hated that I had to give the last hug we would share for a year, and a kiss that would last as long. How do you do that in 5 minutes? How do you tell them everything you will miss in 5 minutes? How do you look at your husband and send them off to war knowing those little moments in life will be "on hold." I still don't know how...
I love my husband, I know he'll be home in a year and so now with the help of all my loving friends and family I will survive. I'll miss the "good morning honey" or the "good night sweetheart" or the little glances as we are making supper or just watching him walk through the front door completely exhausted from work. As I told Mikey, I'm not sure what to do with myself when I'm not taking care of him. I love that new role and as we both determined, I'll still do that, just through packages, letters, emails and short phone calls.
Thank you to each of you for all your thoughts, prayers and continued support. I know the year will go quick and we will be in each others arms again soon. I look forward to our second honeymoon and in the mean time I look forward to making memories with everyone here. (And a VERY special THANK YOU to my brother for making a surprise visit to be here as my rock. I was happy to have him join me so I didn't enter our empty home alone. And THANK YOU to my mom and Shannon who are coming to drive me home...I love EACH of you so much - and I know that many others volunteered too...I am a blessed girl)
I love all of you...and Mikey, if you get to read this...Triple Much (and I promise I will be okay)!
hugs...
annie
Thank you John and Jan for being here...your help was appreciated. Thanks for being my rock too - I'm proud to be your daughter. I love you guys!
I love you Mister Mikey....
Nobody can prepare you for a long good-bye. We found ourselves eating and watching the clock as we counted down the minutes until we had to go on post for the good-bye. Sitting, waiting and wishing we could rewind the clock. Before we knew it the clock struck 7 pm and we were standing there watching Mikey gather the troops to assure everyone was there. Looking around you see children playing, mothers crying and wives and husbands keeping a constant eye on their soldier. We were blessed with another hour and a half, so we sat and visited about anything but what faced us. And, at every pause in the conversation that reminder went off in my mind...he's leaving for a year, go hug him as long as you can. Tears filled my eyes, then laughter filled the air. We kept the mood as light hearted as possible. But we knew as the sky continued to darken the clock had to be coming towards the end. Then the words came from my husbands lips - "only 15 more minutes." Ugh. My heart fell into my stomach and I suddenly wanted to fall to the ground and throw a tantrum like a toddler. I took another look around as Mikey hugged his parents and watched as the kids became fussy, the mothers reached for their son or daughter and the wives/husbands starred at their loved one crying - no longer caring who was watching them. I hated that I had to give the last hug we would share for a year, and a kiss that would last as long. How do you do that in 5 minutes? How do you tell them everything you will miss in 5 minutes? How do you look at your husband and send them off to war knowing those little moments in life will be "on hold." I still don't know how...
I love my husband, I know he'll be home in a year and so now with the help of all my loving friends and family I will survive. I'll miss the "good morning honey" or the "good night sweetheart" or the little glances as we are making supper or just watching him walk through the front door completely exhausted from work. As I told Mikey, I'm not sure what to do with myself when I'm not taking care of him. I love that new role and as we both determined, I'll still do that, just through packages, letters, emails and short phone calls.
Thank you to each of you for all your thoughts, prayers and continued support. I know the year will go quick and we will be in each others arms again soon. I look forward to our second honeymoon and in the mean time I look forward to making memories with everyone here. (And a VERY special THANK YOU to my brother for making a surprise visit to be here as my rock. I was happy to have him join me so I didn't enter our empty home alone. And THANK YOU to my mom and Shannon who are coming to drive me home...I love EACH of you so much - and I know that many others volunteered too...I am a blessed girl)
I love all of you...and Mikey, if you get to read this...Triple Much (and I promise I will be okay)!
hugs...
annie
Thank you John and Jan for being here...your help was appreciated. Thanks for being my rock too - I'm proud to be your daughter. I love you guys!
I love you Mister Mikey....
Thursday, October 9, 2008
Burr...
We have been back in North Dakota for a week now and we are both still shivering when we go outside in the mornings. (Okay, let's be honest - I go to work and see the mornings and Mikey sleeps in so he misses that part...but I'll allow it as this IS his vacation!)
We enjoyed our two-day trip up here and Mikey was kind enough to put up with me on constant conference calls and emailing from my new phone. I had hoped to watch our path better so when I take the trip again next week I know where I'm going, but unfortunately I didn't look up much! Which leaves my mom, my sister and I all on our own adventure on the way home! Wish us luck!!!
I want to post more photos on here soon, but right now I just wanted to let everyone know how much warmth we are feeling (even though it isn't our normal 80 degrees outside). We are enjoying our time with friends and family. The memories we have made this week will stick with us forever, which is what happens every time we are here. We laugh, play and are entertained by simply seeing what new things are built in Fargo! Thank you ALL for being such dear friends. We meet up with you and even though months have gone by it never feels like we've missed a single beat.
We hope to see as many people as possible in the last couple days here, so beware...we'll be out! Oh, and thanks to my hubby you WILL feel like the paparatzi have invaded your personal space as I now have a professional camera that I am lovin! So basically my face will look different to everyone as you will only see it with the camera pushed up against my left eye!
tata for now - hugs to everyone and we hope to make the rounds and see all of you.
annie
We enjoyed our two-day trip up here and Mikey was kind enough to put up with me on constant conference calls and emailing from my new phone. I had hoped to watch our path better so when I take the trip again next week I know where I'm going, but unfortunately I didn't look up much! Which leaves my mom, my sister and I all on our own adventure on the way home! Wish us luck!!!
I want to post more photos on here soon, but right now I just wanted to let everyone know how much warmth we are feeling (even though it isn't our normal 80 degrees outside). We are enjoying our time with friends and family. The memories we have made this week will stick with us forever, which is what happens every time we are here. We laugh, play and are entertained by simply seeing what new things are built in Fargo! Thank you ALL for being such dear friends. We meet up with you and even though months have gone by it never feels like we've missed a single beat.
We hope to see as many people as possible in the last couple days here, so beware...we'll be out! Oh, and thanks to my hubby you WILL feel like the paparatzi have invaded your personal space as I now have a professional camera that I am lovin! So basically my face will look different to everyone as you will only see it with the camera pushed up against my left eye!
tata for now - hugs to everyone and we hope to make the rounds and see all of you.
annie
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